Courtesy of Professor Bainbridge’s blog, we present a humorous variation on the maxims of equity:

I recently ran across a very short article by my friend and UCLAW colleague on “The Lost Maxims of Equity,” 52 J. Legal Educ. 619 (2002):

Equity abhors a nudnik.

Equity delights in a good practical joke.

He who seeks equity must do so with full pockets.

Equity is not for the squeamish.

Equity, schmequity.

Equity can be grumpy before its first cup of coffee.

Equity is crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside.

Equity is a mean drunk.

Equity, like all of us, prefers the rich and good-looking.